how to avoid anxious procrastination

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Zhang Enli, Drinking Man, 2022

The quality of your life is very much affected by what you avoid. Most people think of procrastination in terms of work and logistical tasks—I haven’t responded to this email, I haven’t seen the dentist in years. But it often extends to things in our personal life too—I haven’t texted my friend back, I need to go visit my parents, I want to bring up something with my partner.

For many years, I was a big-time procrastinator. And now I’m still far from perfect, but I do it much less. I’ve been trying to understand why the change occurred. When I think about what makes me procrastinate, it’s very much connected to a feeling of overwhelm—like oh man, I can’t handle this right now, it’s too much to deal with. I don’t know how to reply to this text so I’ll just look at it later.

Unfortunately, this kind of thinking leads to insane situations. Like, there are now 37 people you haven’t texted back in two months. Or, you’re scared of going to the dentist because it’s been so long you’re worried all of your teeth have rotted in your mouth. There’s nothing wrong with putting things off for a little bit (I write as I guiltily eye my laundry basket), but when you put things off for a bit every week, everything piles up.