“You can love someone intensely, and they can, and might, just brush it off. Even if they feel the same way, they may not respond the way you want them to. That doesn’t make them a bad person. But it also doesn’t make you a bad person.”
So well said. I also love C.S. Lewis’ conception: “There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket – safe, dark, motionless, airless – it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.”
I needed to read this! I’ve always felt like I care too much and I should get over people quicker. But you’re absolutely right, caring a lot isn’t a bad thing and I need to learn to manage it as part of who I am- a pretty great part, because loving is beautiful
as a self-proclaimed sensitive girlie i reallyyyyyy love this, especially that last line: "Please don’t numb yourself out because caring is painful. Your capacity for sensitivity and commitment is the best thing about you." <3
I feel so happy that I am not alone. I have always blamed myself as to how much I let myself feel. I have wanted to restrain myself a bit and to avoid getting hurt but when in a new relationship I still do not know how to measure energy and to give according to how I am given. I always just show up fully, I do what to me, is the best! When not reciprocated I have in the past felt a pinch but I have now learnt that nobody will ever love you exactly how you want them to. We can not control how other people show up for us! Like us, they also come to us with "issues their parents and environment has passed on to them unconsciously. They will only love us through their lenses and not ours"
I certainly think there are worse things to be addicted to than love. As a former teacher who to felt too much, I left the profession as I couldn't yet seperate my caring nature. Spending hours of an evening worried about certain students who would be heading home to awful situations, with little to nothing you are able to do. This feels very relatable, thank you for sharing.
AVA!!!! THIS WAS SO BEAUTIFUL. i just something drafted about how i struggle with caring too much and getting simultaneously hurt by that- if i ever finish it i’ll send it you 💘💘💘
Wow, I really needed to read this! I’ve always believed that I care too much and it is a weakness than a strength. But the part where you talked about how caring isn't such a bad thing and how you talked about acceptance, it felt so beautiful and filled a light within my heart. Thank you for writing this, Ava.
“You can love someone intensely, and they can, and might, just brush it off. Even if they feel the same way, they may not respond the way you want them to. That doesn’t make them a bad person. But it also doesn’t make you a bad person.”
So well said. I also love C.S. Lewis’ conception: “There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket – safe, dark, motionless, airless – it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.”
Wow this is a beautiful quote
I needed to read this! I’ve always felt like I care too much and I should get over people quicker. But you’re absolutely right, caring a lot isn’t a bad thing and I need to learn to manage it as part of who I am- a pretty great part, because loving is beautiful
as a self-proclaimed sensitive girlie i reallyyyyyy love this, especially that last line: "Please don’t numb yourself out because caring is painful. Your capacity for sensitivity and commitment is the best thing about you." <3
reading your posts often feel like big hugs in the form of a love letter 💓
Was this made for me 😭
I feel so happy that I am not alone. I have always blamed myself as to how much I let myself feel. I have wanted to restrain myself a bit and to avoid getting hurt but when in a new relationship I still do not know how to measure energy and to give according to how I am given. I always just show up fully, I do what to me, is the best! When not reciprocated I have in the past felt a pinch but I have now learnt that nobody will ever love you exactly how you want them to. We can not control how other people show up for us! Like us, they also come to us with "issues their parents and environment has passed on to them unconsciously. They will only love us through their lenses and not ours"
I certainly think there are worse things to be addicted to than love. As a former teacher who to felt too much, I left the profession as I couldn't yet seperate my caring nature. Spending hours of an evening worried about certain students who would be heading home to awful situations, with little to nothing you are able to do. This feels very relatable, thank you for sharing.
AVA!!!! THIS WAS SO BEAUTIFUL. i just something drafted about how i struggle with caring too much and getting simultaneously hurt by that- if i ever finish it i’ll send it you 💘💘💘
This felt like a long, warm hug. 🥹 thank you for writing this!
I love this so so much,, I feel it in my blood. this is such a beautiful piece of writing <3
This felt like a hug. So happy to see that there are other people who feel the same way about life and love <3
Didn't knew newlsetters could bring you tears :')
It's unreal how these words found a way to me.
These words are so tenderly affirming. Thank you for writing them! Have you read any of adrienne maree brown’s work? It seems right up your alley 🫶
amazing read, loved every word of it!!
drip this directly into my veins, preferably going into the past to set up a weekly infusion starting in middle school
i feel like my (gen x) cohort made insouciance and unflappability a primary ideal/core coping mechanism and it fucked us up real bad. real bad
Wow, I really needed to read this! I’ve always believed that I care too much and it is a weakness than a strength. But the part where you talked about how caring isn't such a bad thing and how you talked about acceptance, it felt so beautiful and filled a light within my heart. Thank you for writing this, Ava.