19 Comments
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Dennis Fang's avatar

Corollary of the first tenet is that in choosing what you spend your time on you also influence who your friends become!

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Rafaela Kottou's avatar

"How friends can help you meet your partner" - excited for this one! one of the evolutionary benefits to friendship is that friends can introduce you to a good romantic partner (i.e. if you pick friends that you like, they will likely know more people that you will like. one of those can very well be your future partner)

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Jodi Cleghorn's avatar

This sounds like a brilliant idea.

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Ava's avatar

thank you!!

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dj microbeads's avatar

i love where this is heading. i love my friends. without them i would not be who i am today. so much of what i love about the world and the experience of just being alive was learned through being with them. my life also could be more fun and i could be prioritising friendship more. thank u for reminding me

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Jean Oberlander's avatar

I've already snipped parts of this to send to my friends as it resonated so much! As someone who prioritises friendships over romance and have done for my entire adult life, I'm super excited to read this!!

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Julia Margaret Lu's avatar

This resonates with me so much! Spent the past few years single and focusing on cultivating friendship, and this community is so deliciously rewarding ❤️

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Ava's avatar

<3

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Asgardian's avatar

For some reason I thought you were Ava Huang

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Asgardian's avatar

I can't be the only person saying this. Are there other people who say this and then delete their replies?

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SJ Fallick's avatar

I love this Ava. We need more focus on friendships - it's weird that they are thought of so differently, when they are a relationship like any other (partner, family). I would be interested to read your thoughts about when friendships fizzle out as you get older. I've read there's a theory that we can only maintain five close relationships, which include family and children, which no doubt contributes to why some friendships drift apart. However, I've been thinking about how you decide when to let them drift or try to double down on reviving them.

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Daniel Morgado's avatar

Amazing. Thank you🫶🏻 Will subscribe to read the series:)

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genie’s writing room 🥀's avatar

I love this article. I think a lot of people think they are "having fun" but really they are numbing themselves and life. Having fun, to me, is tied to meaning as well as connection. Otherwise it is just numbness. Same goes for friendships.

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Jack's avatar

This is what I would have written if I were more articulate

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Sevy 🦋's avatar

Intreagued by the idea: Tripping with friends (both ways). No idea what it means, but I want to know!

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Charlotte Jackson's avatar

one of my favorite things you've ever written!

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Gruffydd's avatar

Beautiful writing as always

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rania's avatar

“For most of us, it’s impossible to have fun or feel happy if we aren’t connected to community.”

my exact woes as a fresh bay area transplant 🤧

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Denny Ellis's avatar

'Choose to be around people that motivate and inspire you to be the best version of yourself'. It's what I repeated to myself after retirement. I've made the most wonderful new friends through volunteering and taking fitness classes by having an open heart and empathy. I've been following you for awhile and just upgraded to paid. You're insightful and thoughtful writing is relevant even to a 78 year old married man like myself.

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