some thoughts on conflict

part 1??

Some quick thoughts after the (very fun) workshop Rishi and I hosted yesterday:

• We are all constantly in conflict. Conflict is just what happens when you and someone you’re in relationship with want different things. 

• We might describe ourselves as avoiding conflict, but I personally believe there is no such thing as avoiding conflict. There is only transmuting how you experience conflict.

• Internal vs external conflict: People who “don’t have conflict” in their lives generally just have internal conflict instead of externalized conflict.  Example: instead of telling my friend, “You being constantly 30 minutes late bothers me,” I just sulk about it silently.

• Implicit vs explicit conflict: I believe that ignoring the person or responding less are implicit ways of handling conflict; you are responding to the situation, just not in an explicit way. Again: I think running away from conflict does not free you from the conflict, it just changes the way it’s expressed.