the opposite of depression

I’ve been forced to accept that I’m happiest when I’m working intensely on a project, whether it’s writing, matchmaking, or concocting some harebrained scheme. This profile of R.F. Kuang felt weirdly affirming to me: some people just live to Do Things. I certainly don’t have her work ethic (very few people do!) but I find it inspirational more than exhausting. Doing Things that you really like and find deeply rewarding has always felt to me like the opposite of depression.

I’ve been reflecting lately that I’m motivated by love rather than duty. Which is not to say I can’t stick things out: sometimes I fear that the guiding principle of my life is that I’m entirely Too Willing to stick things out. But I’ve always wanted above all else to feel connected to the pleasure and creativity what I’m doing. Put it another way: it doesn’t always have to be good, but sometimes it should be exquisite.