Philip Guston, Studio Landscape, 1975
Lately I feel like I’ve finally imposed order on the burbling swamp of chaos that constitutes my life. Some context on the chaos: I’ve been traveling near constantly since 2020, and I am currently contemplating a cross-country move. I have two jobs, and one of them is completely self-driven—I have to take total responsibility for how much I work and how well it’s going and what I should change. (Which sounds like heaven, but is actually sort of annoying). Also I usually have 1-3 side projects that eat up time and mindspace. Also I have two dogs. Also I’m pretty attentive to my friendships and put a good amount of time into maintaining them.
This is how I have always lived. I really enjoy having a lot going on—that’s just who I am as a person. I feel comfortable and happy when there are lot of things I need to get done. But I’ve definitely gotten better over time at keeping everything running smoothly. When I was in college I was constantly oversleeping and cramming at 4 AM and just generally couldn’t keep it together. In the years since, I’ve gotten better at showing up on time, turning things in on time, actually getting work done. There’s less thrashing!
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