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Pedro Rocha's avatar

On being afraid of certainty... don't you think our entire generation is scared of certainty, because the endless flow of information gives us the idea that we have infinite possibilities, and we want to always be available for them? Like, even when we have a good thing going, there will always be something better. Or at least we'll think there is

When it comes to relationships, what is you said is what I learned through marriage and divorce. You will most likely second guess yourself in the first year or so, but there will be a click moment in which it just feels right. Or it doesn't

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Doug Toft's avatar

Lots of insight here, as usual. The distinction between *hard* and *wrong*: Yes! Overthinking is a warning sign: Yes! Expecting a real relationship to make you feel good all the time...that stopped me. I take refuge in the core insights of Rational Emotional Behavior Therapy and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: No one *makes* me feel anything. Don't expect to feel good most of the time. And don't ask anyone to take responsibility for the way you feel. Sounds hard, but it lightens the load considerably.

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