what makes for good first date? and other questions

dear bear, flash edition

Gustave Caillebotte, Boulevard from Above, 1880

1. why are there first dates that are meh? what makes a first date successful?

I think good first dates require you to put on your anthropologist hat: notice the other person and respond to their cues. If you can ask questions, listen earnestly, share about yourself without monopolizing the conversation (extra points for fun banter!), you can be pretty sure you’ll at least have a good conversation. Of course attraction/chemistry is a big component too, but I’m actually sort of a rizz maximalist and believe that sufficient presence and charisma can overcome many physical disadvantages.