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lynne guey's avatar

This resonated with me so much. I am very afraid of being seen as 'leaky' and yet the people I gravitate toward are much less contained than I am, in part, because they create an environment where I feel more comfortable being myself. In contrast, I often feel stifled / judged in the presence of other contained people. These days, I'm trying to self-censor less because I want others to feel comfortable being themselves around me too but I do worry that I risk becoming too permissive, too open-hearted.

I've always struggled with this tension -- being contained can feel inauthentic in some ways, but also necessary for some self-preservation and is also a more 'socially acceptable' way to present oneself. It's hard to find the right balance, I guess it depends on where your natural default lies and what type of tone you're trying to set in your relationships. I appreciate your nuanced take on it.

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Jason D's avatar

I love and I hate that I understand your last paragraph.

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