ME: Listen. Every time you’re given a choice between disappointing someone else and disappointing yourself, your duty is to disappoint that someone else. Your job, throughout your entire life, is to disappoint as many people as it takes to avoid disappointing yourself.
The "animal" in you and me always knows as you put it. My intuition, my inner voice - my own wisdom deep inside my body when I choose to listen, observe and acknowledge, tells me more truthfully what is going on.
You are part of the Healing Generation that cares about connecting with ourselves, and slowly is changing the way we live and the effect we as human beings have on each other, our home - the earth, and the universe. Keep going! The ripple effect is powerful as you know.
“You can’t perform your way into the truest, most beautiful version of your life, because you need to be connected to yourself to even know what that looks like.”
This resonated so deeply. I’m in a season of life right now where I’m learning to detach my identity and worth from performance. Im learning that looks like sitting quietly in the uncomfortable ambiguity of “who am I?” until I hear an answer.
Are people really so self-negating? I wonder if there’s less distinction between sticking to your genuine hopes/dreams and performing for others as we’d like to admit. Status-seeking, being at least somewhat agreeable, and attempting to ‘fit in’ often smooth out that path towards your dreams (work, family, etc. as classic arenas where this can apply), even if you have to internally roll your eyes more than occasionally.
You touched upon something interesting about the ‘animal inside’. Judging by the consistent excellence of the guidance of these gut intuitions, I suspect these are powerful ancestral forces at work, mechanisms of subconscious information synthesis shaped over millions of years of evolution, and are phenomena our best scientists don’t yet fully grasp. The gut intuition, from overwhelming first- and second-hand anecdotal experience, is almost always spot on as an inner consultant when it comes to making tough life decisions.
“Then I slowly started to realize that my emotional reaction to any situation was often way more accurate than any of my thoughts.”
Just an observation here, but I was always of the belief that our thoughts were what created our feelings and emotions.
"Instead of listening to myself I prefer to control my environment" defines me also. It such a hard work to stop and try to make decissions on the present moment. This includes "what i eat", "where I go" "who I stay with.."... Thanks for sharing.
Can u go one whole post without pretentiously quoting some book to show that you read? Ever had an original idea?
What a beautiful read! The sentiment of more writing = feeling more alive is one I truly resonate with. Also five stars for the Cecily Brown painting, her work is my favourite.
such a great read! I think one of the glaring aspects of this piece is your self-awareness. It takes a degree of self-awareness to know when you are not connected to yourself and the internal patterns you may be creating.
Such a gorgeous, beautiful read.