This feels like the words of a version of myself I didn’t know I could become—as if I were reading a letter from my future self, written from a place where honesty was finally conquered; describing how I learned to be totally authentic and finally, braver. A place I haven’t reached yet. A place I admire and respect, and the place I’m trying to wake up in.
i’m also learning this lesson and it’s comforting to read your experience of it, thank you for sharing.
the Otherness of the people we love is terrifying, but i’m with you, it’s always worth the risk. i noted this quote from a book i’m currently reading (Scaffolding by Lauren Elkin) and has been circling my mind:
“It’s terrifying to accept the essential otherness of the people we care for. But what is even more terrifying is admitting to yourself that in spite of the bridge you think you’ve crossed — in spite of the fact that time, and you, and their commitment to you, have converted them from a stranger into the person you know the best in the world — in spite of all that — they are still irrevocably Other.”
This hit very close to home. I had the same realization during a public speaking course. I realized that the best way for me to connect with other people was to reach deep within myself to figure out exactly how I feel. It took practice and still takes me practice every day to do this
There was a lump in my throat throughout reading and still is. I don't know how to express what it means to me to read someone else expressing what you did here. I'm not there (yet?). I'm so afraid of being perceived. While I'm more comfortable with myself than I've ever been because my significant other perceives me, the better he knows me, the more it feels like nobody else is allowed to, all the words caught in the recesses of my throat, blocked from years of underuse, still must find their way to the surface, but I can't seem to let them breathe. I don't know. Printing out your words to put up on the wall so my subconscious will soak them up. Thank you so so much.
I'm now figuring out this lesson myself. For too long, I've put others feelings before my own, and swallowed my words because I felt they were too harsh. Constantly editing myself to fit a version that was "acceptable". Lately, I've been realizing it's more important to be authentic and tell others when they hurt you, instead of festering anger. 2026 is the year of healing those wounds!
i relate so much to the endless people pleasing and needing to constantly craft & filter a version of myself for every scenario to try to be perceived in the perfect way. i'm trying to get better at becoming the type of person that doesn't need to constantly do that.
This feels like the words of a version of myself I didn’t know I could become—as if I were reading a letter from my future self, written from a place where honesty was finally conquered; describing how I learned to be totally authentic and finally, braver. A place I haven’t reached yet. A place I admire and respect, and the place I’m trying to wake up in.
Thank. You.
Deeply thankful and captivated by.˙ ❥
This is a great description of how I felt reading it.
i’m also learning this lesson and it’s comforting to read your experience of it, thank you for sharing.
the Otherness of the people we love is terrifying, but i’m with you, it’s always worth the risk. i noted this quote from a book i’m currently reading (Scaffolding by Lauren Elkin) and has been circling my mind:
“It’s terrifying to accept the essential otherness of the people we care for. But what is even more terrifying is admitting to yourself that in spite of the bridge you think you’ve crossed — in spite of the fact that time, and you, and their commitment to you, have converted them from a stranger into the person you know the best in the world — in spite of all that — they are still irrevocably Other.”
This hit very close to home. I had the same realization during a public speaking course. I realized that the best way for me to connect with other people was to reach deep within myself to figure out exactly how I feel. It took practice and still takes me practice every day to do this
There was a lump in my throat throughout reading and still is. I don't know how to express what it means to me to read someone else expressing what you did here. I'm not there (yet?). I'm so afraid of being perceived. While I'm more comfortable with myself than I've ever been because my significant other perceives me, the better he knows me, the more it feels like nobody else is allowed to, all the words caught in the recesses of my throat, blocked from years of underuse, still must find their way to the surface, but I can't seem to let them breathe. I don't know. Printing out your words to put up on the wall so my subconscious will soak them up. Thank you so so much.
Love this line- "I couldn’t understand that telling saves."
This makes me think of a quote from Andrea Gibson: “Even if the truth isn’t hopeful, the telling of it is.”
Thank you for telling the truth.
What kinds of random things do you ask for?
Wow this post comes at a time when I too realise I've held back all these years...thank u ! Such insight!
I'm now figuring out this lesson myself. For too long, I've put others feelings before my own, and swallowed my words because I felt they were too harsh. Constantly editing myself to fit a version that was "acceptable". Lately, I've been realizing it's more important to be authentic and tell others when they hurt you, instead of festering anger. 2026 is the year of healing those wounds!
Beautiful 😭
i relate so much to the endless people pleasing and needing to constantly craft & filter a version of myself for every scenario to try to be perceived in the perfect way. i'm trying to get better at becoming the type of person that doesn't need to constantly do that.
This writing is brave and relatable, thank you ❤️
Robin Hobb is one of my favorite authors, I'm jealous that you get to read the saga for the first time
Thanks for writing, I needed to hear this more than you know.
you are brilliant, thank you for writing and sharing this <3