> I've never been good at maintenance.

OMG, thank you, this entire reflection feels so familiar. Maintenance is so _dull_ and uninteresting, it's the same thing as I've done a million times before!

One thing I've been thinking about that has helped me is seeing repair as creative—it's both getting back to a previous stable state pushing back against entropy, and also getting your environment, yourself, or your relationships _ready_ for what might emerge next. Through repair we make the whole a bit more whole and alive, generating _new_ things not just preserving old things, and in that way the process is repetitive but the experience is always new. And then, if this is done with care and attention, after a few repetitions the whole might actually reach more sustainable stable state that has "nonresonance with entropy", meaning it will stay in a flow state for longer (though not permanently) so we can focus on other stuff that we actually feel our laser attention pulled toward.

The other thing that's helped is recognizing "intermittent continuing"—low self-shame in stopping and in starting again. Yes, okay, I'm involved in 5000 projects and interests, and yes, there are larger projects that require sustained, long term attention to actually finish, and I keep forgetting things and getting lost in something new, but attention is patterned. If I don't beat myself up about stopping a project, I'll be less likely to feel bad about starting again.

Anyway, thank you for this post! Subscribed.

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I admire your writing Ava. I feel like my life is in this perpetual state of shifting 2-3 things I have the capacity do well, while under the illusion that someday I'll find a perfect zen balance. Really looking forward to reading your book :)

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Did someone bury Jar Jar up to his eyeballs

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