It’s insane how the impossibility of it makes it more intense. It feels a bit like love comes down to choosing between “very intense love that only happens in your head” or “actually possible but more grounded & therefore not feeling quite as special love”. The romantic age unfortunately pushes us a lot towards seeking the former.
Loved every bit of this essay. Never even heard of limerence before, but am positive I have experienced it. wow--the things people do and say in a state of limerence...
> Plato believed that obsessive love for another person could sometimes be successfully be converted into a non-possessive love of the beauty you see in them, which you can then appreciate in all other places it appears in the world
This idea (which I think primarily derives from the Phaedo) is a major recurring interest of Iris Murdoch's. I think you would like her writing, if you haven't tried it!
“Superstitious thinking requires a massive investment of energy” if that’s true, explain how I only get MORE tired the older and more superstitious I get!
I had this with the grifter I was in love (“”) with - that only lasted two years. But then there was another. Less obsessive but longer lasting (the first woman I ever wrote poetry about). When I look at that flowchart… oof.
It’s insane how the impossibility of it makes it more intense. It feels a bit like love comes down to choosing between “very intense love that only happens in your head” or “actually possible but more grounded & therefore not feeling quite as special love”. The romantic age unfortunately pushes us a lot towards seeking the former.
“For many people limerence will be the strongest emotion they ever experience”
this is breaking me
"There’s an inability to be limerent about more than one person at a time."
> Hold my beer
But seriously, what if two people are limerent about each other? Could it be related to serial monogamy?
I stan this hypothesis
Loved every bit of this essay. Never even heard of limerence before, but am positive I have experienced it. wow--the things people do and say in a state of limerence...
> Plato believed that obsessive love for another person could sometimes be successfully be converted into a non-possessive love of the beauty you see in them, which you can then appreciate in all other places it appears in the world
This idea (which I think primarily derives from the Phaedo) is a major recurring interest of Iris Murdoch's. I think you would like her writing, if you haven't tried it!
Jealousy can be good. Non possessive love isn’t the goal.
“Superstitious thinking requires a massive investment of energy” if that’s true, explain how I only get MORE tired the older and more superstitious I get!
I had this with the grifter I was in love (“”) with - that only lasted two years. But then there was another. Less obsessive but longer lasting (the first woman I ever wrote poetry about). When I look at that flowchart… oof.