I’m very intrigued about the essay that has been haunting you this year, but I think you attached that one to a hyperlink to Jeanette Winterson’s book. Looking forward to reading the intended one!
I found myself nodding in agreement throughout this entire piece. It’s almost as if, if the execution is difficult, the passion was not enough. But sometimes it’s a mustard-seed-moving-mountains type of thing. Committing to executing, at times means the passion will grow stronger. Thanks for sharing this Ava!
“I think there’s a lot of advice that goes, what’s meant for you will find you. And I really, truly believe that it does.”
Perhaps it’s the other way around. Even without consciously realising it people drift towards hobbies/careers that they’re naturally adept at (note: this doesn’t mean they don’t have to do any work to become proficient). I wonder if it has at least something to do with their aptitude at those tasks or hobbies with adjacent skillsets, and as they move closer to their best ‘thing(s)’ they get to experience more and easier success, presumably inviting them to optimise and so get even closer to it.
“Getting into a relationship is like buying a car. Being in a relationship is like driving the car.”
Not convinced about this, on the other hand. Isn’t getting into a relationship more like taking out a loan to buy a car when you don’t have savings, and basically as soon as you’re fired from your job (the pay of which is only just good for the loan) your car gets repossessed?
People (not necessarily you or me, of course) frequently have the impression that once in the relationship you can finally relax but precisely the opposite is the case. NRE fades and some people get too bored to stick around, your flaws stop being cute or at least ignorable, you’re under much greater scrutiny from all angles (particularly if you cohabit), as time goes by the probability of their finding out an ‘ick’ increases, and so on. This is even more pertinent in this day and age when all these other shiny options are just a swipe away. there’s a tired complaint that people think ‘why bother to work on a relationship when you can just jump on dating apps and start swiping’, but the complaint is tired precisely because the question makes sense to ask – what reason is there to bother trying to fix or improve a relationship if you can find the ready-made product easily (not everyone’s dating experience, of course)? Against this background, it figures that you’d be in the gym, metaphorical or otherwise, even more after you confirm the relationship, not less.
This piece was ahead of my experience in certain aspects. Took me a while to connect the dots and understand it intuitively (excuse the obvious reference).
Separately, I wonder what it is about iris fragrances that makes it a substack writer favorite.
The bath oil link goes to the essay for me!
Reminds me of a quote from Nassim Taleb: "Life is about execution rather than purpose.”
I’m very intrigued about the essay that has been haunting you this year, but I think you attached that one to a hyperlink to Jeanette Winterson’s book. Looking forward to reading the intended one!
I found myself nodding in agreement throughout this entire piece. It’s almost as if, if the execution is difficult, the passion was not enough. But sometimes it’s a mustard-seed-moving-mountains type of thing. Committing to executing, at times means the passion will grow stronger. Thanks for sharing this Ava!
Thanks for sharing, especially perfumes!
“I think there’s a lot of advice that goes, what’s meant for you will find you. And I really, truly believe that it does.”
Perhaps it’s the other way around. Even without consciously realising it people drift towards hobbies/careers that they’re naturally adept at (note: this doesn’t mean they don’t have to do any work to become proficient). I wonder if it has at least something to do with their aptitude at those tasks or hobbies with adjacent skillsets, and as they move closer to their best ‘thing(s)’ they get to experience more and easier success, presumably inviting them to optimise and so get even closer to it.
“Getting into a relationship is like buying a car. Being in a relationship is like driving the car.”
Not convinced about this, on the other hand. Isn’t getting into a relationship more like taking out a loan to buy a car when you don’t have savings, and basically as soon as you’re fired from your job (the pay of which is only just good for the loan) your car gets repossessed?
People (not necessarily you or me, of course) frequently have the impression that once in the relationship you can finally relax but precisely the opposite is the case. NRE fades and some people get too bored to stick around, your flaws stop being cute or at least ignorable, you’re under much greater scrutiny from all angles (particularly if you cohabit), as time goes by the probability of their finding out an ‘ick’ increases, and so on. This is even more pertinent in this day and age when all these other shiny options are just a swipe away. there’s a tired complaint that people think ‘why bother to work on a relationship when you can just jump on dating apps and start swiping’, but the complaint is tired precisely because the question makes sense to ask – what reason is there to bother trying to fix or improve a relationship if you can find the ready-made product easily (not everyone’s dating experience, of course)? Against this background, it figures that you’d be in the gym, metaphorical or otherwise, even more after you confirm the relationship, not less.
This piece was ahead of my experience in certain aspects. Took me a while to connect the dots and understand it intuitively (excuse the obvious reference).
Separately, I wonder what it is about iris fragrances that makes it a substack writer favorite.