f you’ve ever changed someone accidentally or on purpose, you know that it’s very much possible for people to change, sometimes in dramatic ways. If you’ve ever set out to change someone, you know that it’s unlikely to work, and likely to be a huge waste of time.
This perfectly sums up my past relationship: wanting to change your partner, getting attached to their problems, getting lost in a cycle of codependency, and unconsciously repeating the very same red flags you swore to change! I’ve learned since then to see people as they are, at this moment, and not who you want them to be or who they still can be. Still a lot to process from that relationship and this article is a nudge to stay on track. Thank you!
I think there is a beauty in wanting to change someone. Having someone you love so much that you genuinely just want to see them do better is beautiful but naive because it's your version of "better" You said something about taking people with their flaws and assuming that they will be like that until they die. I think if you did that and learned how to love them while also basking in the fact that you can decide who you let into your life, your life would be a beautiful art piece created by you for you. Great read!
As a psychotherapist - uhoh! LOL
hahahaha
Hahahah! Came here for this exact comment. Only when you accept someone exactly as they are, can they then begin the process of 'changing'
but also I really love your writing so pros and cons really - if my comment has any backing it can't change you lmao
This perfectly sums up my past relationship: wanting to change your partner, getting attached to their problems, getting lost in a cycle of codependency, and unconsciously repeating the very same red flags you swore to change! I’ve learned since then to see people as they are, at this moment, and not who you want them to be or who they still can be. Still a lot to process from that relationship and this article is a nudge to stay on track. Thank you!
yeah i needed to hear this
I feel changed
I think there is a beauty in wanting to change someone. Having someone you love so much that you genuinely just want to see them do better is beautiful but naive because it's your version of "better" You said something about taking people with their flaws and assuming that they will be like that until they die. I think if you did that and learned how to love them while also basking in the fact that you can decide who you let into your life, your life would be a beautiful art piece created by you for you. Great read!
Great piece 👏